Ryan Gosling once told me…

Okay so he didn’t literally tell me this…he rather said it through his character on the film The Notebook…but it still applies!!! He said,

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.”

This is something I think a lot of people need to hear. As humans we spend a lot of time not enjoying life as we are trying to please other people around us. Maybe that’s by doing a job you don’t love, living somewhere you don’t love, or the worst one being with someone you don’t love. No matter what the situation, it can apply. For me this is travelling, as I’ve said over and over again. I could get a better job, be on more money, eventually move out, get a better car, and overall a better life. But right now…that isn’t for me (as silly as that sounds).

I want to get out into the world and explore every inch of it, or at least as much as I can. I need to do that for me. I need to experience it. I need to be free…at least for a while. Sometimes we get a little too wrapped up in what we are ‘supposed‘ to do, and not what we ‘want‘ to do. So my aim with this post is to attempt to encourage anyone reading to do what’s right for you! You have your whole life to please other people, but right now “do you, for you”.

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WARNING! New Driver Alert!

I’ve been driving just over a month now, and I’m finally realising that what people said was actually true. You don’t really gain driving experience until after you pass your test. Sure you can know how to drive correctly. Pushing all the right buttons, at the right times. Checking your mirrors for overtaking, or just for people constantly on your ass. But once you’re in a car all by yourself, with no one talking in your ear…then and only then you realise what driving is really like.

I’m going to be honest with you the first month after passing my test was pretty scary. The first hiccup was the car. It’s an old car, with a difficult biting point. One which took the whole first month to actual master to some degree and understand what to do and when to do it. This led to my first embarrassing moment of being stuck on a tiny hill with no way of getting up it (at least no way for a new driver in an old car). I ended up having to reverse back down it after letting three cars go around me. Not the nicest way to ease myself into driving alone.

The second hiccup was lanes on new roads. I tried to push myself as fast as possible as I was already behind a lot of my friends in the ‘art’ of knowing how to drive. So I went onto roads I’d never driven on before in my lessons to get to the closest shopping centre that was near my home. Ahh which leads us onto embarrassing moment number two. Being stuck at the front of a queue trying to change lanes at the last-minute isn’t great. And with the number of annoyed drivers around you, staring at you in a despising way it doesn’t seem to make you feel better either. Luckily no one knew me.

The third hiccup was motorways. Now this has to be the worst thing so far. I mean overall it is just a straight route. The only thing that worries me is that the faster you go, obviously the worse off you be in an accident. Which is why I do my best to do everything right when I’m on a motorway. Abide by the speed limit, keep the right distance from other cars, and take care while changing lanes. But when a massive lorry decides to move over in front of me in the slow lane, after a late indication and leaving around about a 5 inch gap, it makes it a bit harder. And this is my issue. I can do my best to do everything right on a motorway, but I can’t control other people’s actions…and let’s face it…there’s some right idiots out there!

Ahh on the upside, I am loving being able to drive. The freedom, the opportunity, the control. I can go anywhere, whenever I want. So I guess this is the start of my life as a roadtripper…lets see where I end up…

To die in a dream…

A few nights ago…I had a dream.

Now unlike majority of my dreams, this one had a historical background… It was set in Nazi Germany. Now, I love history but the bad thing about this, was that I was a Jew.

The dream began underground, in a similar setting to the London Underground except it was darker and unkept. I was surrounded by loads of other Jews, all of different ages showing a range of emotions. We began being led to what seemed to be two elevator shafts in which groups of Jews were being crammed into. Once we were in the lift we were then made to watch a propaganda movie to distract us, while the lift either moved upwards to a few more days of freedom or down to a dreaded gas chamber.

While waiting anxiously, the propaganda film came to an end and the lift doors began to open. Thankfully the lift had gone up to ‘freedom’, we all scuttled out like rats in a sewer, but the worst was not over. We followed the damp corridor down towards the exit, when from the distance I noticed that the next section, which was similar to airport security where the Nazi’s required a barcode which was imbedded into the skin of Jews.

I looked down at my arms, searching for a barcode. I couldn’t find one, I began to panic thinking that I would never escape back out into the real world without one. I  looked around to see if anyone could help me to get a barcode, failing that I began to run searching for an alternate exit…and that’s when I realised I was beginning to be chased by Nazi’s with guns trying to shoot me.

In that moment I then realised that I was in a dream…but I couldn’t wake myself up and bring myself out of it. I began to think to myself, what if i get shot right now? What if I die and can’t return back to reality. What if my body goes into some sort of coma due to my mind being killed in my imagination? Is that even possible?

All I know is that dreams are weird, and when they get weird my thought process gets weird… nevertheless I still enjoy dreaming…

Secrets

Within every family…there will be secrets. Whether they are good ones, bad ones, or just really, really pointless ones. Never the less they are secrets. Simple as that. Hidden from people for some reason. It could be to protect them, not to worry them, or to just keep them out of it altogether.

Most of the time though after however long the secret is kept for…it eventually comes out in one way or another. And after this has happened both parties are left feeling a little bit shit about themselves and a bit distanced.

Now I’m not saying I’m completely against keeping secrets…I mean some things in certain situations, with certain people have to be kept like that. But when It is family, I think the important things are best told…to immediate family at least. I mean they are the ones that will be able to help and even offer support if need be.

That’s just my opinion anyway…rant over.

 “Sticking with your family is what makes it a family” – Mitch Albom, For One Day More.

What women want…

The simplest way to answer this is…truth be told most of us really don’t know. Or if we do…then we’ve probably over thought it and therefore now want too much.

A woman’s mind is always changing…mainly because we think way too much into things, and then by doing so we create other options to answer the question…even if we’ve already chosen something else. One day we will want one thing and the next day it will change. To be honest there is no real logic.

Now I know there’s already way too many jokes about this topic, and that it’s already been overly talked about including the repeated Gif of Ryan Gosling from the film ‘The Notebook’ (What do you want? God damn it, what do you want!). Fair enough that was originally about love, but girls do put way too much thought in the most simplest things…even where to go for lunch! It seems even worse when two girls get together. The simple question of lunch leads to a game of verbal tennis, where the term “I don’t know, you pick” gets thrown back and forth continuously until they reach the conclusion of the option given right at the start.

I’d like to say there’s an easy solution for all of this…but there isn’t. I could even attempt to make you believe that one day this wont be an issue anymore, as if it’s proven by scientific research that girls will evolve to enable them to stop doing this. But again sadly this isn’t something that will happen, you just have to learn to live with it. Either way though there are no winners. From a girl’s point of view you realise how annoying it can be, and can attempt to control in some way but never completely. Then from a guy’s point of view… there’s sadly nothing you can do but make sure the girl who’s having to make decisions around you is one you love very dearly, and therefore you can put up with the frustrations surrounding them. Otherwise for the guy there may be a long road of sadness and annoyance to come.

I think the only real piece of advice you can take from this blog is to never try to understand the way a woman’s mind for decision-making works! Your life is a lot easier and happier when you don’t concern yourself with the confusion, and like I said frustration that comes with all of this!

“You can’t get stuck on what should have happened. That doesn’t help you.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.

Mitch Albom

At the start of this year I was trying to escape a rough patch. During this time I would find myself constantly shopping. The reason for this is not clear. As while I was going through this patch, the last thing I really wanted was to be around people. Which doesn’t make sense as shops are obviously always full of people. Unless of course I broke in at night…which is something I would never consider doing as I’d probably end up in jail, with no get out jail free card. [slight tangent…]

Anyway one of the shops I’d mostly find myself in (other than clothes shops) was book shops. Maybe this was so I could escape the noise of other shops for a while, and give myself a little break. Anyhow as I was looking on one of the “best books of the week” tables. I noticed the title ‘The First Five People You Meet In Heaven’ by Mitch Albom. Now for me personally I’ve never been religious. I was never christened or baptised, nor never attended church unless it was compulsory by my primary school. However I have always been open to the idea of a place we go to when we die, not necessarily heaven or hell but a place.

This has to be one of the best books I think I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. It was so inspiring and uplifting. If anything it gave me guidance without meaning to. Since then I have been hooked on his books. I feel that each of Mitch Albom’s books teaches me something new. A new life lesson to support my own life journey. I personally think everyone could find something within Mitch Albom’s books. So therefore I recommend them to everyone. Everyone and anyone who stumbles across this post. Mitch Albom is a wise and inspirational writer and I think everyone could do with a bit of Mitch in their life.

“Maybe it was a grandparent, or a teacher, or a colleague. Someone older, patient and wise, who understood you when you were young and searching, helped you see the world as a more profound place, gave you sound advice to help you make your way through it.” – Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie.