How to know when to walk away…

Firstly I’ll start with a little note, that I originally wrote this 3 maybe even 4 years ago. I had a relationship that started off absolutely amazing. To be completely honest it was my first real relationship, and the first and possibly the only time I have ever been completely and utterly smitten in love to the point where it literally engulfed me. And even now some of the memories from this relationship are some of the best memories I have. I may also add that I am still friends with this person as some bonds you create in life, will never be broken…saying that during some relationships it gets to the point where everything changes and that’s really what I want to talk about. I was reminded of this note I wrote down all them years ago when I found out one of my close friends was going through the same things as I did. So basically this is about that and knowing when it really is time to walk away. (Ok what started off as a little note, became a long one as I realised I had more to say about it then I thought…now onto the actual blog post.)

In life, we have relationships. Relationships with family, friends and partners. No matter who that relationship is with, it will go in waves. There will be good times and bad times…But there’s a clear difference between them. With family, you can’t really walk away from them. Because no matter what they will always be there, that’s what family does. For friends, sure we can walk away from them but it’s hard, and most of the time the problems can be rectified and within a week you’re friends again. But the one that’s the hardest is the partner relationships. Especially if you’re the one that cares the most. Your going to get hurt eventually, over and over again depending on how long you stay in that relationship. So eventually there will come a point where you have to be strong and walk away, because it’s got to the point where they feel like poison to you.

The hardest bit about this point is the mental torment that goes around in your head during it. When times are bad it’ll feel like your heart is repeatedly being ripped out of your chest, blended and then shoved back in there which is excruciating. But in between all of this there will be moments that are so sweet…probably just how they used to be, which will give you so much hope. Hope that things will one day be the same again, because deep down you love them unconditionally…and that’s the breaking point. The vicious cycle. Where you really have to think are the bad times over weighing the good one’s now. Of course it will be difficult at first, in fact forget that, it’ll be difficult for as long as it takes. Heck it took me over a year even after we’d split up, but that was because I didn’t completely remove myself from the situation and we were clearly seeing things differently. For him it was harmless doing thing we used to as a couple, but for me it was verging on manipulation of feelings. But anyway in long run you will without a doubt be so much better off, and some extent so much stronger for getting through it. What you’ve got to remember is that you aren’t the first person to feel like this and sadly you won’t be the last…probably even people close to home have been through a similar thing. Stay strong.

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WARNING! New Driver Alert!

I’ve been driving just over a month now, and I’m finally realising that what people said was actually true. You don’t really gain driving experience until after you pass your test. Sure you can know how to drive correctly. Pushing all the right buttons, at the right times. Checking your mirrors for overtaking, or just for people constantly on your ass. But once you’re in a car all by yourself, with no one talking in your ear…then and only then you realise what driving is really like.

I’m going to be honest with you the first month after passing my test was pretty scary. The first hiccup was the car. It’s an old car, with a difficult biting point. One which took the whole first month to actual master to some degree and understand what to do and when to do it. This led to my first embarrassing moment of being stuck on a tiny hill with no way of getting up it (at least no way for a new driver in an old car). I ended up having to reverse back down it after letting three cars go around me. Not the nicest way to ease myself into driving alone.

The second hiccup was lanes on new roads. I tried to push myself as fast as possible as I was already behind a lot of my friends in the ‘art’ of knowing how to drive. So I went onto roads I’d never driven on before in my lessons to get to the closest shopping centre that was near my home. Ahh which leads us onto embarrassing moment number two. Being stuck at the front of a queue trying to change lanes at the last-minute isn’t great. And with the number of annoyed drivers around you, staring at you in a despising way it doesn’t seem to make you feel better either. Luckily no one knew me.

The third hiccup was motorways. Now this has to be the worst thing so far. I mean overall it is just a straight route. The only thing that worries me is that the faster you go, obviously the worse off you be in an accident. Which is why I do my best to do everything right when I’m on a motorway. Abide by the speed limit, keep the right distance from other cars, and take care while changing lanes. But when a massive lorry decides to move over in front of me in the slow lane, after a lateΒ indication and leaving around about a 5 inch gap, it makes it a bit harder. And this is my issue. I can do my best to do everything right on a motorway, but I can’t control other people’s actions…and let’s face it…there’s some right idiots out there!

Ahh on the upside, I am loving being able to drive. The freedom, the opportunity, the control. I can go anywhere, whenever I want. So I guess this is the start of my life as a roadtripper…lets see where I end up…