What am I doing?

Ok so you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for a while, and there is a reason for this. Maybe not a great reason…but a reason none the less. That reason is that I’m trying to figure out what I want from life right now.

Being a 22 year old with no relationship and no real career can be a bit confusing. I have never been career minded. I’d have loved to have been, as I’d know exactly what I wanted to do and how to achieve it…but no point in dwelling on it. I have thought about it briefly before but I’ve never had a real wake up call until the other day, when I found out I might be losing my job (through no fault of my own I may add).

It has come to the time where my boss has decided he needs to make a change in the business. That change being he needs a full time supervisor, however to accommodate that…he needs to lose someone else on full time hours i.e: me. Now this may seem simple, I’m losing my job…find another one. But It’s not as simple as that…he doesn’t know when this will happen, as he still needs to find the full time supervisor. So my days seem limited there… I just don’t know how much time I have. I’m in no way angry with my boss, because after all you have to do what you need to for the sake of your business but anyway this lead me to the following thoughts…

I am 22. No significant other. No flat. And soon to be no job. The world is my oyster as they say…so what to do? I could find another job near my home, one with good hours, a good wage…which would then lead to me probably getting a flat, and maybe eventually a partner. OR I could think of this as a escape. With no real ties here (other than my family of course) I could leave the country for a bit. Get a job abroad and travel the world a bit, like I had planned to. I mean if I’m going to do it eventually, why not now? What’s stopping me? Providing I can figure out a way to either keep my car or end my finance on it I could go.

It’s just a big decision to make. A lot of things to take into consideration, but plenty of potential to finally do something that I will love. So that’s where I am right now. Just an update I guess, and to empty my head for a bit…

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Thing’s I’m Bad At…

In life, no one is ‘perfect‘. I mean sure there’s them people that walk around; with their perfect hair, their perfect dream job, their perfect loving partner and seem to have everything together…but really they have flaws. EVERYONE has flaws…even Leonardo DiCaprio :O. So in short, this is a list of the things I suck at in life.

  1. Eating Breakfast – In a ideal world…I’d wake up early. Cleanse and moisturise my face. Then go get a healthy and nutritional breakfast to start off the day! But in reality I’m lazy. Lazy in the sense that I’d happily have those few extra minutes in the warm comfort of my bed…and then be hungry at work.
  2. Cleansing and Moisturising my face – All through life you will hear the saying “Look after your face when you are young, and you’ll look amazing when you hit 50”. That could all be well and true, but again when presented with the option of staying in bed or doing something which may help your skin later on in life…you know where to find me.
  3. Clothes Mountain – Ok so, If I wear something once for a few hours I won’t send it to be washed. Because in my opinion (even though my mum would differ) it is still clean. I mean unless I’ve rolled around in mud or been caught in a torrential rain storm. So once I’ve taken it off, I’ll put it on a chair in my room…with the intention to either put it away later or wear it the next day (outfit repeater :0 shock horror). However after a while of doing this, a mini mountain will begin to form on my chair, which you know is a issue I can deal with…until it turns into a avalanche.
  4. Updating my Computer – So normally I’m really good with keeping things updated. I’m one of these people that can’t stand notifications. I have to open apps, and emails to just make the little number disappear. Like when my iPhone wants a update and a little 1 appears next to settings, I need it gone. So I just update it. BUT on my mac…oh man it’s a whole other story. As a lover of YouTube I can’t deal with my laptop being out of action for so long. Yes I could watch it on my phone…but I’m all about that big screen. Plus to me the software updates seem unneeded as nothing ever seems to change.
  5. Document Hoarder – There’s a lot of unnecessary documents we get given in life. But unlike a normal person, there are some things I just can’t seem to throw away. This is anything from old drama work, to paying in slips. In my mind, you never know when you’ll need it. Granted you probably wouldn’t be able to find it when the time came to wanting it but still…you never know. Im sure I’ll get rid of it all. One day.

So there you have it, ‘a selection’ list of things I’m bad at. I could go on but we could be here a while. But do you know what, they are flaws, but they are also what make me who I am. So…that’s ok.

An Unlikely Teacher

In life we learn a lot of lessons. Some are easy, some are hard and some…well you just don’t see them coming, especially from certain people. One lesson I’ve learnt the hard way, is pretty simple. Expect the unexpected. Nowadays I seem to think of all possible outcomes for certain scenarios…and I don’t think I used to do it. Whether that’s down to growing up, I’m not sure. But it’s a lesson you have to learn sooner or later. Whether it’s in love, a job, a friendship or even just family life…it happens and you can’t always trust the people you want to. So expect the unexpected BUT don’t let the fear hold you back in any way…

My Letter…

Dear Someone,

Having to write a random letter reminds me of the time I had to write letters to my ‘friends’ on animal crossing…even though I knew they didn’t understand english normally. Being set to write a letter with no topic is pretty hard. I never really know what to say. I could update you on how life is going in Natalie World…but to be honest there’s not a lot going on. I’m still single which isn’t really a bad thing, as right now I’m not sure I’m really capable of giving someone else emotional attention (this leads me into thinking I may be becoming a heartless bitch). I still have a cafe job…which isn’t really where I thought I’d be at twenty-two. It’s comfortable and nice, but it’s not really mind-blowing. I still live at home, which again is nice because I like seeing them everyday but at the same time I miss living alone at times. My money situation sucks, I have things to save for, things to pay off, holidays I want to go on, a new car I’d like but nowhere near enough money for any of them. Trying to find another job sucks! Most places won’t take me due to no experience in the area, and I always feel like any jobs that do actually want me are a step in the wrong direction to where I want to be. And on the social side of things most nights I’d rather be in bed watching tv, than going out and getting drunk with friends…like a lot of people my age. I’m just stuck I guess, and maybe set in my ways a bit in other areas. Not very interesting really…anyway until next time friend?

xx

5 Places I want to visit!

This is not an easy list to make, as I would like to travel everywhere in world. However as this is a list for five so I shall generalise to some extent…

  1. Europe – It’s ‘right on my doorstep’ and built up of so much history and beauty that it would be a shame not to see.
  2. Majority of America – I think this would mainly be due to the food options, but there are also a lot of places I’ve researched that I would visit as soon as I landed including the 9/11 Memorial.
  3. South Africa – Mainly for the wildlife, obviously I’d be very careful and do loads of research before I even considered booking my flights due to the crime level but it would be an amazing experience.
  4. Thailand – the beaches, the beauty, the atmosphere…just everything!
  5. China – I mean it would just be rude not to!

In my life I’d like to see as many places as I can cram in. I’ve mentioned before in a post…the world is here for us, it’s stupid not to explore and discover it ourselves. There’s so much more to life then doing the same job everyday with barely any rewards when we can live life the way we should, by experiencing it! As Louis Cole says “Live the adventure. Boom”.

Moving Onwards and Upwards

For a few months now I’ve been waiting for something to happen at work…a promotion. But in life, we don’t always get what we think we are going to get. In a way I’m angry about that. Not because I lost out on the opportunity, but because it held me back from doing other things that would have made me happier. By now if I had left this job when I had the chance, I could have probably already saved up some money I needed to go travelling. Which of course is annoying. Never the less, eventually we always end up on the road we belong on…That road for me is travelling, and creating.

In a way I’m glad this happened, because after all everything is a learning experience. I have more skills now then what I did. I had more time to think things over in terms of where I want to go. I also had more time to realise that I have other options that I didn’t even know existed. So there are ups and downs to the situation I’ve found myself in.

Anyway to kickstart my ‘new lease of life’ as I’m calling it. I have decided I am opening up my own horizons; and the first step of this is by claiming I am a photographer. Just to say I am being truthful when doing so…I know I said claiming but that’s just because I know I’m nowhere near as professional as those who are actual photographers. I’ve set up a new instagram page soley for this purpose, and also a Facebook page so I will leave links if anyone’s interested. That’s all for now 🙂 I just needed a little rant and a boost.

P.S I used to be just a man…now I am a man with a plan!

P.P.S (Just for clarification I am in fact a woman) 🙂

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