Problems With Society

Sometimes, if you take a step back from the world, you can start to notice the flaws we have as humans. One of the main flaws I’m noticing at the minute is that people just don’t take the time to talk to each other. The most basic thing humans can do, and we don’t do it. We’ve become a world of meaningless words. The things that people actually say, don’t really matter deep down. And the words that are left unsaid mean more than anyone shall ever know. People can see someone everyday and never really know what’s going on in their lives, even to the point where they spend everyday sleeping in the same bed.

There’s been a lot of loss in the world around me lately, and it makes me wonder whether just taking the time to talk about things that actually matter…could have prevented these outcomes to some extent. Of course not everything can be resolved from opening up to someone, but you never know. Technology is a big thing in our day and age, and it kind of works as a way to fill the gaps between human encounters, to the point where it can block them from actually happening all together. To be quite honest, it’s shit and even that is slightly sugar-coating it.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post. I guess what I’m really trying to do is get whoever’s reading this to take time out of their day to really talk to someone who they’re close to or they care about, and try to get past the bullshit of the facade that they are trying to hide behind. Although not everyone likes to admit it or complain about it, they all have something going on behind the scenes…or if your on the flip side of it, just open up to someone about how your really feeling…who knows, you might actually get a positive outcome…

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Music and Men

The other day I was in my car driving for about an hour with the radio on. On the radio the station was going though a variety of songs from the last few years, when the realisation hit that there was a number of songs that linked to my past. To be more precise they linked to men of my past.

You see memories are a funny thing. When they are created they can be linked to the silliest things like a certain scent or a location…but for me it seems to be music. I listen to music a lot. So when I listen to certain songs, sometimes the lyrics seem to fit the current situation perfectly and therefore the song then links to that person…or it could just be a case that the song was popular at that time and the radio played it constantly while I was around them. 

Anyway like songs, men come and go through life. I guess it just depends if they turn out to be a one hit wonder or a classic that never gets old. But no matter what, when a certain song from the past hits my ears, the memories will play over in my mind of my relationship with that person. In some ways it’s good, and in some ways its bad…but memories are memories. Sometimes it’s nice to look back at what once was…

I wonder if anyone reading this knows their song…heck I wonder what songs people would link to me!

“The past is a good place to visit, but certainly not a good place to stay.”

Amsterdam in July…

Last July a few friends of mine decided to book a last minute trip to Amsterdam. I’d only been to Amsterdam once before for a few hours on a ferry trip, and to be honest I wanted to travel as much as possible last year…so I just thought why not!

There was 6 of us altogether, and it was the first time I’d been on holiday with a group of friends rather than just one friend. Normally I’m a bit hesitant about travelling in groups, just due to the fact that you have to accommodate to what everyone wants to do. But to be honest this wasn’t an issue for us at all seen as everyone wanted to do relatively similar things anyway, which made things a hell of a lot easier.

So we stayed for three nights in Amsterdam at the Camp Inn Hotel, which was a great hotel which also offered bike rental which was ideal to get around Amsterdam. It was room only, which was perfect as it allowed us to check out what food Amsterdam had to offer, and it really didn’t disappoint. Inside the city centre, Amsterdam basically accommodates all food lovers. Theres pastries, pizza, spaghetti, sandwiches, burgers…you get the idea. Not to mention the coffee there is amazing!

Obviously we didn’t just go for the food aspect of Amsterdam, so we had just three days to fit in as much of Amsterdam’s culture as humanly possible. We went to the museum of prostitution, the sex museum, we went on a tour at the Heineken Experience, Amsterdam’s Ice bar, the red light district, and of course we popped into a bulldog coffee shop. Oh I almost forgot we also took a leisurely bike ride through the streets and along the canal…which meant nearly getting run over by a tram (when in Amsterdam eyy).

Overall the trip was pretty amazing. We didn’t get to go to the Anne Frank house, but it’s definitely on my bucket list. Either way I’ll have to go back at some point, as Amsterdam has so much to offer. Hopefully there are more group trips are to come too! Oh and the weather was pretty good too!

Oopsie

As people, throughout our lives we will hit walls. Not physically but mentally. And I don’t know whether it’s due to getting older or having a lot of time on my hands by having no social life and no relationship…but with more time you notice a lot more. These are small things that generally go unseen to people with busy lives. But it’s one of them things that once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Now I’ve been single for almost two years now (a long time yeah), and to be honest I don’t hate it. I’m by no means living my life how a single person should live their life, and I’m attempting to tackle that in my own way but that’s not really what this blog is about. This blog is really about sorting out and getting my life in order before that and probably doing a lot of venting to make myself feel better and put my mind at ease a bit.

The first thing I really want to rant about, is being sick of people’s shit. That doesn’t sound as bad as it is. Like yeah I get everyone has problems, heck I’m probably one of the best people to be considerate of that. But once you’ve been mugged off (yes I’ve been watching Geordie shore, so I’m picking up the lingo of a cool Newcastle kid) anyway, once you’ve been mugged off by one friend and someone points it out, it’s only then when you realise it and then in turn see how everyone else has in their own way followed suit.

I mean yeah I understand I’m not the best friend in the world, I cancel plans due to anxiety issues and I won’t always let on. But fuck me, not to toot my own horn but I remember details no one else will bother, I am one of the most loyal and considerate people you could ever meet. Given the chance I will open up as much as possible to anyone that has the time, and will listen and help in any way I can in return. But I’m getting to the point where I really don’t see the point. I don’t want to stop being the way I am because I think it’s a good thing. I mean I’ve already got close to the point where I don’t really see the point in letting any relationships come close to me. But when friends drop you, and start being short with you and ignoring you…what the hell is the actually point. People even do it without realising it.

I think this has been building up inside me for a while now and I’m just done. I don’t even know what else to say. Fuck it.

“Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.” – Unknown

 

The sad truth…

*There’s a lot of people in this world who choose to only go skin deep*

I don’t have a lot of friends, as sad as that may sound. The ones I do have, have lives and I get that. But when you step back and realise that no one really knows you…you’ve got to admit that’s a bit sad aha. On the outside I’m a happy character. Working with customers you seem to build up a wall, a character to some extent…after all who wants to buy anything from someone who looks like they don’t want to be there. But I’m so tired of it. I know I’m selfish to some extent, I’ll ask someone how they are and if they say they’re fine…I’ll probably just reply good. But it sucks. In this society it’s as if we’re all on auto pilot, when really it’s the people in this world that makes it worth living, if you just take time to pay attention.

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Me before you…

I’m a sucker for a love story. As soon as I saw the trailer for this film, I was hooked. I knew I had to see it…and today was that day. As someone who is in love with love stories you have to get your priorities in order. Now the first thing you have to work out is if its going to be upsetting in parts. If it is, you need to choose your company wisely. After all you do NOT want to go with someone who has never seen you cry before. This means this is defiantly not a film for first dates…unless of course they are ‘into’ sweaty, blotchy, crying women…in which case run away before you guarantee a second date they may be a bit too weird. So grab any of your girlfriends, get to the cinema, and be ready to fall in love, have your heartbroken and feel the need to live your life fuller than ever…all in the space of an hour and fifty.

If there’s anything that this film gives to you, it’s courage. Courage to live your life, fall in love again, explore the world, and most importantly take chances…or at least that’s what I got from it. Everything about this film for me was perfect from the story line to the director and especially the actors, it was just perfect. The performances given by Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin were amazing! The belief and passion in their eyes for each other was remarkable, even that was enough to make anyone believe in the story. Maybe even a little bit too much…now the only thing the women who have watched this film need is for it to happen in real life.

Best advice I’ve ever been given…

So recently travelling’s been on my mind a lot. I’m seeing more and more people jetting off to just explore somewhere they’ve never been. Because of this I’ve been thinking about when I could go, and therefore I’ve been talking to more people about it.

Now the only people I’ve really spoken to about it to are people who I’m friends with, or people I strike up a conversation with in the cafe where I work. Out of everyone I’ve spoken to in however many years I’ve had this dream, there’s always been one thing in common. This is company. These people have always had someone with them, mainly friends or even family. Now this is great, I’d love to do that…hell I’d probably prefer to do that in regards to the safety issue but this is a problem.

The problem is… with my group of friends…there are two categories. They either have no interest in travelling or they have either already done it or have already everything out to do it. Which leaves me with the option to go it alone.

I don’t mind the idea of being alone travelling because I like to see the benefit to both sides of everything. For example with this, I’d see exactly what I wanted to see without having to take anyone else desires into consideration. I also feel that I would learn a lot from the experience personally, as I believe in finding/discovering yourself when travelling (which some people will laugh at the idea). Plus travelling alone pushes your boundaries by making friends out of complete strangers.

Anyway so onto the advice…today while I was clearing a table (cafe life) a woman struck up a conversation with me. It was a short conversation, but this lady was very easy to talk to…so even though we were only speaking for about 5-10 minutes I learnt a lot!

We talked about her situation. How she used to live quite close to me but then after her husband passed away at quite a young age, she couldn’t afford the house alone, so she had to move. She had spent 26 years with her husband, she had no family left now. But she was happy, content. We spoke about my situation. How I’d been to university, now living back at home with my parents with a performance degree I do nothing with and a dream to travel.

This sparked something. She herself had been travelling. 29 years ago, she set off to Australia alone and it was only when she was waving her family goodbye the realisation sinked in. She was doing this, and she was doing it alone. She talked with so much enthusiasm and insight. She said she never regretted it for a moment, and if she hadn’t of gone she would have never met her husband. As I was just about to return to work, she said…just go. Go live and explore, if it doesn’t work out at least you’ve tried it and you can come back home but just do it…take a chance.

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.” – Lewis Carroll