Oblivious…

It seems to me that I’ve become a bit oblivious to the world around me lately. I walk around on auto pilot too much, which could be a result of being depressed over the years…or it could be because most of the time I’d prefer to be invisible and therefore I don’t take notice in the hope I don’t get noticed myself. As if over the years I’ve slowly  been backing myself out of society, excusing myself to be ignorant.

But by doing this it appears I’ve been also letting the wrong people in and shutting the best ones off to some extent. So this needs to stop. If anything this blog is basically a reminder to myself. To open your eyes! Don’t go through life without living, without knowing or taking notice. Have more interactions with people, even if it isn’t verbal. Because sometimes its the non verbal communications that can mean the most. Even show a spark between two people.

I feel like I have to remind myself a lot of this…but it’s the only way I know how to work it into my head. I think sometimes I just get lost in a sea of social media. I find myself scrolling through Facebook pointlessly for about an hour, before realising that times now gone. So I think I just need to take a step back from that a bit. Focus more on blogging and photography and just exploring and living really.

Ok. Good chat.

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What am I doing?

Ok so you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for a while, and there is a reason for this. Maybe not a great reason…but a reason none the less. That reason is that I’m trying to figure out what I want from life right now.

Being a 22 year old with no relationship and no real career can be a bit confusing. I have never been career minded. I’d have loved to have been, as I’d know exactly what I wanted to do and how to achieve it…but no point in dwelling on it. I have thought about it briefly before but I’ve never had a real wake up call until the other day, when I found out I might be losing my job (through no fault of my own I may add).

It has come to the time where my boss has decided he needs to make a change in the business. That change being he needs a full time supervisor, however to accommodate that…he needs to lose someone else on full time hours i.e: me. Now this may seem simple, I’m losing my job…find another one. But It’s not as simple as that…he doesn’t know when this will happen, as he still needs to find the full time supervisor. So my days seem limited there… I just don’t know how much time I have. I’m in no way angry with my boss, because after all you have to do what you need to for the sake of your business but anyway this lead me to the following thoughts…

I am 22. No significant other. No flat. And soon to be no job. The world is my oyster as they say…so what to do? I could find another job near my home, one with good hours, a good wage…which would then lead to me probably getting a flat, and maybe eventually a partner. OR I could think of this as a escape. With no real ties here (other than my family of course) I could leave the country for a bit. Get a job abroad and travel the world a bit, like I had planned to. I mean if I’m going to do it eventually, why not now? What’s stopping me? Providing I can figure out a way to either keep my car or end my finance on it I could go.

It’s just a big decision to make. A lot of things to take into consideration, but plenty of potential to finally do something that I will love. So that’s where I am right now. Just an update I guess, and to empty my head for a bit…

Live life to the fullest!

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die tomorrow.

– James Dean.

This is one of the very first quotes I fell in love with. It’s something I personally constantly need to improve on. I waste so much time just doing things that pass the time and mean nothing to me, or give me any personal pleasure. I want to live, and experience and just enjoy life. I tend to put things off, saying I’ll do it tomorrow, or I’ll start tomorrow. I need to get into the habit of living for now. Why wait? Live as if you’ll die tomorrow, no need to regret then…

Get your own life first…

Something new I’m bringing to my blog is that on Sunday’s is I’m going to post a quote. Sometimes I’ll comment on the quote…other times I’ll just post a quote for people to ponder over. So to kick start this, and because it’s valentine’s Day…This quote is about relationships.

If you are not happy being single, you will never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it.

I’ve spoken about this before, but it still is and always will be true. Too many people get into relationships just so they aren’t alone, and fair enough sometimes it can help. But a lot of the time that person just becomes too invested in the another person. So much so, that they lose themselves and become a shadow of what they used to be or even what they could be. They lose their potential a bit, the potential to be brilliant. In life we need time to ourselves, to explore and discover…so get your own life, then share it.

Make your own path

There’s a quote I come across a lot when looking at traveling, it goes…

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail – Ralph Waldorf Emerson 

I find this quote really inspiring both for travelling and home life. For travelling I like the idea of going where no one else has gone before me. Like a astronaut exploring space. In my eyes why should we do the same thing day in day out, when we have the whole world at our feet to explore and just live. I think that’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with Iceland so easily, it gave me a sense of freedom to discover something new and I love that.

On the other hand though like I said I can also apply it to home life. Like I’ve mentioned before I’ve never really been career minded, but maybe that’s just because I haven’t seen the right career choice. Maybe if I created my own career (i.e make my own path) then I’d be career driven. It’s just finding something I really love doing, something that I’m unbelievably passionate about. Anyway I’ll keep wandering the earth, trying to find out how to create my own path. One day.

Small Changes…

Although I said I wouldn’t be creating a list of new years resolutions, there is a couple of small things I’d like to try to do this year. I won’t class them as resolutions as they will just be on going improvements. Anyway here goes…

  1. Wear heels more – as a small girl I will always need more height, and what better way to solve this than with fancy shoes or boots! Also they of course add to the sex appeal…not.
  2. Not be on my phone as much – in today’s world we as a whole are anti social or ‘zombie-like’ if you will. So I think this is a good way to begin reconnecting with the world again.
  3. Go out more – I’ve never really been a drinker, but I’ve come to the realisation that I’m only young once. Also as the years go on my body won’t react as well with alcohol as it does when your younger…or so I’ve heard.
  4. Sing – I love to sing! Let it be known not very well, but what’s that to stop me. Confidence can pull off anything. Well almost everything.
  5. Save money! – Travelling isn’t cheap, and seen as it’s one of the things I want to do this year…I really need to save money.
  6. Try and find the perfect foundation – this is a constant battle. I hate spending money on something that never matches. They either dry my face out or turn me into a Oompa Loompa and that’s just not a good look!
  7. Use my camera more! – I love taking photos, I even took the time to set up a Facebook page for it…but I just don’t take enough photos. So from now on I’m going to just go on random walks every so often, plus it means I get to see the hidden areas of lovely Yorkshire!
  8. Listen to more music – I like a bit of everything when it comes to music, but it’s quite rare I just put my iPod on anymore. To add to this I’m also going to try to keep up to date with new music because I always seem to be a hundred years behind everyone else and never know new bands names.
  9. Let go – I try not to do this a lot but there just certain things I can’t seem to let go of, so its time. As Elsa says “let it go”
  10. Don’t over think! – This is just a constant battle as a girl. For some reason we all just seem to have a tendency to think way to far into everything so this year, I’m going to aim to just roll with everything and not think as much…we’ll see how that pans out.

LETS DO IT!

What I miss…

Like most university students I moved away from home. This was after I stayed at home and travelled for the first year, and then decided it wasn’t for me. But for the two years that I lived in Sheffield, I honestly loved it. I loved having my own space, with my own freedom to do whatever I wanted no matter what time it was. I mean don’t get me wrong, I did miss seeing my family everyday…but I had so much more independence. I can even say I enjoyed being able to do my own washing…how weird is that?

I even fell in love with Sheffield itself. It had so much to offer than my hometown. Better jobs, better atmosphere, better theatres, everything. In a way because I’ve returned home now, I yearn for this freedom I had never experienced before going to university. I’d love to move out again no matter where I moved to…but it’s a bit hard when you’re attempting to save for other things like travelling, not to mention having to fix a broken car. In some ways I feel like my life’s on hold a bit…but sacrifices must be made I guess.