Deception

Life is hard sometimes. The other day I was daydreaming, finding a way to escape reality for a while, when I spotted a tiny spider working on a web. It was carefully creating this perfect and fragile little spider web, putting so much love and dedication into a home for one. I was so captivated by its beauty and patience. In that moment it was just me and that little spider in the world. The spider devising a place to call home, and me the onlooker to this beautiful creation.

Just as I was considering this and taking it all in…a figure behind me took notice of us sharing this moment and with one swift movement ripped the spider’s little web in half. I was devastated. How heartless. The lesson to learn here is that there’s monsters everywhere…even disguised as friends.

Credit to Georgina for being the figure that broke a happy home.

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What am I doing?

Ok so you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for a while, and there is a reason for this. Maybe not a great reason…but a reason none the less. That reason is that I’m trying to figure out what I want from life right now.

Being a 22 year old with no relationship and no real career can be a bit confusing. I have never been career minded. I’d have loved to have been, as I’d know exactly what I wanted to do and how to achieve it…but no point in dwelling on it. I have thought about it briefly before but I’ve never had a real wake up call until the other day, when I found out I might be losing my job (through no fault of my own I may add).

It has come to the time where my boss has decided he needs to make a change in the business. That change being he needs a full time supervisor, however to accommodate that…he needs to lose someone else on full time hours i.e: me. Now this may seem simple, I’m losing my job…find another one. But It’s not as simple as that…he doesn’t know when this will happen, as he still needs to find the full time supervisor. So my days seem limited there… I just don’t know how much time I have. I’m in no way angry with my boss, because after all you have to do what you need to for the sake of your business but anyway this lead me to the following thoughts…

I am 22. No significant other. No flat. And soon to be no job. The world is my oyster as they say…so what to do? I could find another job near my home, one with good hours, a good wage…which would then lead to me probably getting a flat, and maybe eventually a partner. OR I could think of this as a escape. With no real ties here (other than my family of course) I could leave the country for a bit. Get a job abroad and travel the world a bit, like I had planned to. I mean if I’m going to do it eventually, why not now? What’s stopping me? Providing I can figure out a way to either keep my car or end my finance on it I could go.

It’s just a big decision to make. A lot of things to take into consideration, but plenty of potential to finally do something that I will love. So that’s where I am right now. Just an update I guess, and to empty my head for a bit…

Why 80’s Music?

When asked the question of what kind of music I prefer, I normally say I like a variety. I listen to anyone from Fleetwood Mac, to Jay Z and Kanye West, going back to Katy Perry and Skrillex. But…given the choice I’d probably say that out of them all my ‘go to’ songs have to be those of the 80’s.

I’m not entirely sure what my reason is for it…It could be because that’s the music I’ve grown up to. Whenever we’d go anywhere in the car or have any music playing in the house it would be 80’s music. Whether it was Madonna, ELO, Def Leppard, or Queen…it was on, playing wherever we were and whatever time it was.

When I think about the difference in music then and music now, the main distinction for me is the passion. I don’t know why but people back in the 80’s just seemed to have so much more passion. In one way it’s as if they used music to escape all of the problems of the world. Don’t get me wrong I love the fact that there is so much emotion and truth in some of today’s music but…it was nice having that escape, and positivity. I mean when you listen to ‘Wham – Wake me up before you go go’, it doesn’t exactly make you think about all the drama and sadness in the world.

Saying that though I’m not just talking about the upbeat passion of the 80’s. After all there were many great artists like Whitney Houston, Meatloaf, Bon Jovi and Bonnie Tyler who clearly expressed the troubles they were having in life (mainly problems with love). But nevertheless they all still seemed to hold a passion, that I think a lot of the artists now lack.

Anyway for me 80’s music will always be close to my heart. What’s your favourite type of music?

 

ūüĆüTop 10 Christmas FilmsūüĆü

In the first few days of December I like to start watching Christmas films to get me in the festive spirit. I’m one of these people that is totally against Christmas until December 1st hits, then I go a bit crazy. So here is my Top 10 Christmas films to get me in the festive spirit (with some strange descriptions)!

  1. The Holiday: A loveable RomCom about women swapping houses.
  2. The Grinch: A green man, with a secret heart of gold and a slight anger issue.
  3. Gremlins: A cute animal, with bad siblings basically.
  4. ELF: A elf man looking to find himself and his father.
  5. Love Actually: A lot of love, in different forms around Christmas Time.
  6. Home Alone: Abandoned child, forced to become a ninja to protect his home.
  7. Santa Clause the Movie: Santa and his christmas routine with a twist.
  8. Bad Santa: A fake santa/conman makes a friend.
  9. Oliver: An orphan finds a better life, after a lot of obstacles.
  10. Jingle All the Way:¬†Grown men fight for a toy, to prove he isn’t a bad father.

Now I admit these are all well known classics but when your doing a film a day in December there is time to branch out and see christmas films you’ve never seen. For example I’ve never seen Miracle on 34th Street (yes really…), or A Wonderful Life, and I don’t think I’ve¬†seen A Christmas Carol all the way through. So they’re on my To Do List this year, what’s on yours?

Improvements…

There’s a lot of things I aim to improve on…and I could palm you off on a less personal one like my photography skills but I’m being honest and open this month. One of the things I’m focusing on improving right now is myself. ¬†A blog I wrote this month was about three lessons I’d like to teach my children…but for me to teach anything to anyone else,¬†I have to be a better/more together person myself.

The main improvements always seem to lead back to one thing – finding myself. They say you can’t be truly happy until your happy alone. So I’m trying that. I’m alone…but I’m still lost. I think the problem is that I’m too alone. I open myself up to new people in some ways, but I never fully submerge myself. In a way I think that would help me. In a previous blog I’ve also mentioned about how complete strangers can help you find the right path you belong on, after being pushed around by the wind first. I think that’s what I need to try. So this is the first step to submerging myself to change for the better, and making a few personal improvements….so here’s to submerging and hoping to not drown…

Holiday…

Today’s challenge was ‘think of any word, type it into google and then write something inspired about the 11th image’.This image is shown above.

Like a lot of things in life, some words come with a set image or even stigma. The word holiday is no exception. When people mention a holiday the first thing that pops into your head is somewhere warm, sunny, relaxing with the sea out in front of you and a drink in hand. That’s why I don’t class Iceland as a holiday…more of an adventure, whenever someone¬†brings it up. I’ve only been to Iceland this year, and with everyone posting photo’s of their holidays now…it sucks.

I want to go on holiday. Correction…I want to go on a warm¬†holiday! I need sun! Sometimes I like to blame my eczema for needing a holiday because the vitamin D and the sea water is good for it…but really it’s just because I like to escape England and enjoy the warmth and freedom. Anyway…I’m off to book a holiday!!!

My Letter…

Dear Someone,

Having to write a random letter reminds me of the time I had to write letters to my ‘friends’ on animal crossing…even though I knew they didn’t understand english normally.¬†Being set to write a letter with no topic is pretty hard.¬†I never really know what to say. I could update you on how life is going in Natalie World…but to be honest there’s not a lot going on. I’m still single which isn’t really a bad thing, as right now I’m not sure I’m really capable of giving someone else emotional attention (this leads me into thinking I may be becoming a heartless bitch). I still have a cafe job…which isn’t really where I thought I’d be at twenty-two. It’s comfortable and nice, but it’s not really mind-blowing. I still live at home, which again is nice because I like seeing them everyday but at the same time I miss living alone at times. My money situation sucks, I have things to save for, things to pay off, holidays I want to go on, a new car I’d like but nowhere near enough money for any of them. Trying to find another job sucks! Most places won’t take me due to no experience in the area, and I always feel like any jobs that do actually want me are a step in the wrong direction to where I want to be. And on the social side of things most nights I’d rather be in bed watching tv, than going out and getting drunk with friends…like a lot of people my age. I’m just stuck I guess, and¬†maybe set in my ways a bit in other areas. Not very interesting really…anyway until next time friend?

xx