Ever changing seasons…

I love the ever changing seasons. Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter. Every single one of them. Each unique in their own beautiful way.Β ButΒ when I think about it, there’s always one problem. When it’s Spring, I want it to be Summer. When it’s Summer, I want it to be Autumn. When it’s Autumn, I want it to be winter and so on and so forth. It’s a vicious circle. And it’s only when I realise this, that I begin to see I’m mindlessly wishing the seasons to come around faster and faster each year. Effectively wishing a lifetime away…rather than embracing the beauty of each season. In some ways though, that is really a trait that all humans share. The need for change, and the ache of never really being fully satisfied.

“Don’t waste the season of life your in now, just because you want the next one to come.”

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What am I doing?

Ok so you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t posted a blog for a while, and there is a reason for this. Maybe not a great reason…but a reason none the less. That reason is that I’m trying to figure out what I want from life right now.

Being a 22 year old with no relationship and no real career can be a bit confusing. I have never been career minded. I’d have loved to have been, as I’d know exactly what I wanted to do and how to achieve it…but no point in dwelling on it. I have thought about it briefly before but I’ve never had a real wake up call until the other day, when I found out I might be losing my job (through no fault of my own I may add).

It has come to the time where my boss has decided he needs to make a change in the business. That change being he needs a full time supervisor, however to accommodate that…he needs to lose someone else on full time hours i.e: me. Now this may seem simple, I’m losing my job…find another one. But It’s not as simple as that…he doesn’t know when this will happen, as he still needs to find the full time supervisor. So my days seem limited there… I just don’t know how much time I have. I’m in no way angry with my boss, because after all you have to do what you need to for the sake of your business but anyway this lead me to the following thoughts…

I am 22. No significant other. No flat. And soon to be no job. The world is my oyster as they say…so what to do? I could find another job near my home, one with good hours, a good wage…which would then lead to me probably getting a flat, and maybe eventually a partner. OR I could think of this as a escape. With no real ties here (other than my family of course) I could leave the country for a bit. Get a job abroad and travel the world a bit, like I had planned to. I mean if I’m going to do it eventually, why not now? What’s stopping me? Providing I can figure out a way to either keep my car or end my finance on it I could go.

It’s just a big decision to make. A lot of things to take into consideration, but plenty of potential to finally do something that I will love. So that’s where I am right now. Just an update I guess, and to empty my head for a bit…

Live life to the fullest!

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die tomorrow.

– James Dean.

This is one of the very first quotes I fell in love with. It’s something I personally constantly need to improve on. I waste so much time just doing things that pass the time and mean nothing to me, or give me any personal pleasure. I want to live, and experience and just enjoy life. I tend to put things off, saying I’ll do it tomorrow, or I’ll start tomorrow. I need to get into the habit of living for now. Why wait? Live as if you’ll die tomorrow, no need to regret then…

Happy Being Alone

In the beginning in most cases we’re never alone. As babies, as toddlers, as children we aren’t alone. But then as soon as you become older, your left alone in the big bad world. Which is fine and nice but then after a while you begin to think about it. Are you happy being alone with your own company?

For some people this is quite easy, free at last in a sense. But for others it can prove to be hard. A few of my friends have gone from relationship to relationship and it makes me think, is it just because you don’t want to be alone? I mean I’ve been single for a while now, so yeah I can see the appeal of wanting to be with someone because your bored or yourself and want something different again. But then I can also see the other side of it.

For me when I first ‘fell in love’ that was everything. It’s was new, exciting…but to be completely honest I lost myself. I got so into the relationship that I didn’t know what it was like to just be me anymore. That was the hardest thing. Now I’m not saying I’m completely anti-relationship now because of it, but it makes you a bit more wiser I guess.

So overall I think what I’m trying to say is you need to be happy alone, so that you don’t lose yourself. I know everyone’s different mentally but for me that was something that happened, and it is hard to come back from it. But it’s a lesson to learn!

The best way to be happy with someone, is to be happy alone. That way the company will be a matter of choice…not a necessity.

Small Changes…

Although I said I wouldn’t be creating a list of new years resolutions, there is a couple of small things I’d like to try to do this year. I won’t class them as resolutions as they will just be on going improvements. Anyway here goes…

  1. Wear heels more – as a small girl I will always need more height, and what better way to solve this than with fancy shoes or boots! Also they of course add to the sex appeal…not.
  2. Not be on my phone as much – in today’s world we as a whole are anti social or ‘zombie-like’ if you will. So I think this is a good way to begin reconnecting with the world again.
  3. Go out more – I’ve never really been a drinker, but I’ve come to the realisation that I’m only young once. Also as the years go on my body won’t react as well with alcohol as it does when your younger…or so I’ve heard.
  4. Sing – I love to sing! Let it be known not very well, but what’s that to stop me. Confidence can pull off anything. Well almost everything.
  5. Save money! – Travelling isn’t cheap, and seen as it’s one of the things I want to do this year…I really need to save money.
  6. Try and find the perfect foundation – this is a constant battle. I hate spending money on something that never matches. They either dry my face out or turn me into a Oompa Loompa and that’s just not a good look!
  7. Use my camera more! – I love taking photos, I even took the time to set up a Facebook page for it…but I just don’t take enough photos. So from now on I’m going to just go on random walks every so often, plus it means I get to see the hidden areas of lovely Yorkshire!
  8. Listen to more music – I like a bit of everything when it comes to music, but it’s quite rare I just put my iPod on anymore. To add to this I’m also going to try to keep up to date with new music because I always seem to be a hundred years behind everyone else and never know new bands names.
  9. Let go – I try not to do this a lot but there just certain things I can’t seem to let go of, so its time. As Elsa says “let it go”
  10. Don’t over think! – This is just a constant battle as a girl. For some reason we all just seem to have a tendency to think way to far into everything so this year, I’m going to aim to just roll with everything and not think as much…we’ll see how that pans out.

LETS DO IT!

August Highs and Lows

I don’t want to dwell on this too much because I’ve covered a lot in this months posts. There’s always going to be highs and lows to every month…but in comparison this has been an average month. I have nothing to complain about or preach about, that I haven’t already. So Instead I shall leave this month with a quote…

“There is no black-and-white situation. It’s all part of life. Highs, lows, middles.” –Β Van Morrison

30 Goals for 30 days!

  1. Write more
  2. Make better drinks at work
  3. Be more sociable
  4. Visit more places in Yorkshire
  5. Take more photos
  6. Cook more
  7. Try new recipes
  8. Pay off a big bill
  9. Get a new tattoo
  10. Sell more on Ebay
  11. Clear out my room
  12. Watch a new film every week
  13. Finish Tuesdays with Morrie
  14. Buy flowers
  15. Start planningΒ my trip to Europe
  16. Book my flights for my Third trip to Iceland
  17. Organise my new Photography Project
  18. Take a Photography Course
  19. Be more confident
  20. Tell more bad jokes
  21. Meet new people
  22. Smile more
  23. Be more positive
  24. Attempt to cleanse my insides once a week
  25. Eat more fruit
  26. Do light exercise
  27. Block unwanted emails
  28. Change my blog layout
  29. Paint
  30. Throw out old clothes!