Oopsie

As people, throughout our lives we will hit walls. Not physically but mentally. And I don’t know whether it’s due to getting older or having a lot of time on my hands by having no social life and no relationship…but with more time you notice a lot more. These are small things that generally go unseen to people with busy lives. But it’s one of them things that once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Now I’ve been single for almost two years now (a long time yeah), and to be honest I don’t hate it. I’m by no means living my life how a single person should live their life, and I’m attempting to tackle that in my own way but that’s not really what this blog is about. This blog is really about sorting out and getting my life in order before that and probably doing a lot of venting to make myself feel better and put my mind at ease a bit.

The first thing I really want to rant about, is being sick of people’s shit. That doesn’t sound as bad as it is. Like yeah I get everyone has problems, heck I’m probably one of the best people to be considerate of that. But once you’ve been mugged off (yes I’ve been watching Geordie shore, so I’m picking up the lingo of a cool Newcastle kid) anyway, once you’ve been mugged off by one friend and someone points it out, it’s only then when you realise it and then in turn see how everyone else has in their own way followed suit.

I mean yeah I understand I’m not the best friend in the world, I cancel plans due to anxiety issues and I won’t always let on. But fuck me, not to toot my own horn but I remember details no one else will bother, I am one of the most loyal and considerate people you could ever meet. Given the chance I will open up as much as possible to anyone that has the time, and will listen and help in any way I can in return. But I’m getting to the point where I really don’t see the point. I don’t want to stop being the way I am because I think it’s a good thing. I mean I’ve already got close to the point where I don’t really see the point in letting any relationships come close to me. But when friends drop you, and start being short with you and ignoring you…what the hell is the actually point. People even do it without realising it.

I think this has been building up inside me for a while now and I’m just done. I don’t even know what else to say. Fuck it.

“Maybe it’s not life that sucks. Maybe it’s just the people you let in your life that suck.” – Unknown

 

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The Time I Made A Joke…

You know how sometimes when your daydreaming, you slip into a deep place right in the back of your mind. For example the time I was looking at the ants on the floor and It spiralled into a thought that maybe we are just like ants. And as I’m looking down on them now, there’s people/things looking down on us…a bit like a mirror in a mirror, creating a continuous image getting smaller and smaller. So basically I was thinking about a higher intelligence (like aliens) which I know is possible but it’s also completely random for a Tuesday afternoon…I guess that’s what work does to us.

Anyway, so this was one of those times…only this time I was thinking about balls. Guys balls to be exact or testicles if you will. So getting to the point. I was thinking to myself, if guys have two balls…why aren’t they in individual bags? To which my brain then replied…’maybe they didn’t offer them two at the checkout’.

Yeaaahhhh I know, It’s bad. Shockingly bad. But I love them kind of jokes, dad jokes I call them. The wit I got from my dad of course didn’t help my cause. But you know I’ve come out a great person with a quick wit…even if like I say it is bad. So yeah that’s the joke I made. Copyright Natalie Oram. ✌🏼️

If you would like to share my joke to any of your male friends or family I have set up a scenario and wording for the joke below.

Scenario: Lazing around on anyway of the week with said male friend/family.

Hey Ted…If guys have two balls…why is there only one bag?..Did they not offer you two at the checkout? Ba dum bum chush.

Happy Tuesday! 🙈

Thing’s I’m Bad At…

In life, no one is ‘perfect‘. I mean sure there’s them people that walk around; with their perfect hair, their perfect dream job, their perfect loving partner and seem to have everything together…but really they have flaws. EVERYONE has flaws…even Leonardo DiCaprio :O. So in short, this is a list of the things I suck at in life.

  1. Eating Breakfast – In a ideal world…I’d wake up early. Cleanse and moisturise my face. Then go get a healthy and nutritional breakfast to start off the day! But in reality I’m lazy. Lazy in the sense that I’d happily have those few extra minutes in the warm comfort of my bed…and then be hungry at work.
  2. Cleansing and Moisturising my face – All through life you will hear the saying “Look after your face when you are young, and you’ll look amazing when you hit 50”. That could all be well and true, but again when presented with the option of staying in bed or doing something which may help your skin later on in life…you know where to find me.
  3. Clothes Mountain – Ok so, If I wear something once for a few hours I won’t send it to be washed. Because in my opinion (even though my mum would differ) it is still clean. I mean unless I’ve rolled around in mud or been caught in a torrential rain storm. So once I’ve taken it off, I’ll put it on a chair in my room…with the intention to either put it away later or wear it the next day (outfit repeater :0 shock horror). However after a while of doing this, a mini mountain will begin to form on my chair, which you know is a issue I can deal with…until it turns into a avalanche.
  4. Updating my Computer – So normally I’m really good with keeping things updated. I’m one of these people that can’t stand notifications. I have to open apps, and emails to just make the little number disappear. Like when my iPhone wants a update and a little 1 appears next to settings, I need it gone. So I just update it. BUT on my mac…oh man it’s a whole other story. As a lover of YouTube I can’t deal with my laptop being out of action for so long. Yes I could watch it on my phone…but I’m all about that big screen. Plus to me the software updates seem unneeded as nothing ever seems to change.
  5. Document Hoarder – There’s a lot of unnecessary documents we get given in life. But unlike a normal person, there are some things I just can’t seem to throw away. This is anything from old drama work, to paying in slips. In my mind, you never know when you’ll need it. Granted you probably wouldn’t be able to find it when the time came to wanting it but still…you never know. Im sure I’ll get rid of it all. One day.

So there you have it, ‘a selection’ list of things I’m bad at. I could go on but we could be here a while. But do you know what, they are flaws, but they are also what make me who I am. So…that’s ok.

What are you excited about?

Right now in all honesty I’m not really excited for anything…I could say travelling next year but right now, money wise, I don’t even really know if I’m going to be able to afford it. The only thing I can really guess at, is that I’m excited for the future in some way. This could be more of a nervous excitement though, because I don’t really know where I’ll end up, or what I’ll be doing. People sometimes ask “Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years time?” And I never know what to say. I don’t really know where I’ll be. My life’s a bit up in the air…The future always changes. Nothing’s ever really set in stone. So right now I’m just excited to see what’s round the corner…hopefully something good.

“I guess you could say not everything’s ‘plane’ sailing… ;)”

A Desperate Heart…

“A desperate heart will seduce the mind” – Mitch Albom

I know I’m going back to Mitch Albom once again, but I honestly love his work. I think he is so smart, and speaks so much truth. For me Mitch Albom is my Morrie Schwartz.

When reading ‘The Time Keeper’ this quote in particular hit me the hardest. I haven’t always been the best version of myself, neither have people around me. But in times of need we lead ourselves to believe we deserve the love we get. When in reality that love could be fake or even doing more harm than good. I know all advice in life starts with the saying ‘follow your heart’ but to be honest your heart isn’t always right. Especially when its fragile or even being manipulated.

In the start of a relationship sometimes you can see it as an escape from bad stuff in other areas of your life…but at some point it can change. Maybe to the extent of the relationship having the opposite effect, and can even do more emotional damage rather than be emotional support. And this can of course be due to a number of reasons. I mean no situation is exactly the same. This ties into a different quote… “We accept the love that we think we deserve.” 

For some reason at some point in life, our minds may tell ourselves that we aren’t good enough. Whether it’s a physical thing or a mental thing. It can happen, and it may not even give you any warning (which of course sucks). You might just not have any self-confidence in yourself, leading you to choose to stay in that situation because of fear. I know you may think choice doesn’t come into it when it’s up against a fear. Fear you won’t find better, fear you aren’t good enough for anyone or anything but you are. If you spoke to friends or family they would tell you exactly that. You are good enough, you are better, and you should never, ever allow anyone to make you feel like your not.

The main point of this post is you have to realise. That’s the first step. Realise you’re in a bad situation and be brave enough to get yourself out of it and get back on the road to recovery. It could be a case that it isn’t even that bad of a situation, and there could be a solution to make the situation better… but If you think you can relate to this post in any way, listen to me when I say this you deserve better. So don’t let your desperate heart seduce your mind, it might be hard at first but you aren’t alone at all. There will be a whole support system you just haven’t uncovered yet.

That’s just my take on the quote anyway, everyone’s view will be different…maybe I thought too much into it *blushes*. Ohh well 🙂

Secrets

Within every family…there will be secrets. Whether they are good ones, bad ones, or just really, really pointless ones. Never the less they are secrets. Simple as that. Hidden from people for some reason. It could be to protect them, not to worry them, or to just keep them out of it altogether.

Most of the time though after however long the secret is kept for…it eventually comes out in one way or another. And after this has happened both parties are left feeling a little bit shit about themselves and a bit distanced.

Now I’m not saying I’m completely against keeping secrets…I mean some things in certain situations, with certain people have to be kept like that. But when It is family, I think the important things are best told…to immediate family at least. I mean they are the ones that will be able to help and even offer support if need be.

That’s just my opinion anyway…rant over.

 “Sticking with your family is what makes it a family” – Mitch Albom, For One Day More.

It can’t just be me…can it?

In life we get into bad moods (no that’s not really what this post is about, of course that’s not just me). Whether its due to people annoying you, things not going right in general, or even just getting out of bed on the wrong side. When this happens people tend to just tell you to cheer up or deal with it, which is fair enough if they want to show they don’t really care or they have more important stuff to deal with themselves. But no matter what the situation or problem, there is always someone I can rely on. That person is Ivan.

Ivan…my dear Ivan, is my beloved Ipod. Now I know what you must be thinking your Ipod has a name? And the truth is no, not until this blog post was written…but needs must. You also might be thinking how can you rely on a Ipod. If this thought crossed your mind, you have clearly underestimated the power of an Ipod.

There are many glorious powers an Ipod holds. Firstly the ability of teleportation. No matter where you are, all you have to do is pop in your headphones, crank up the volume and you can be somewhere else in a matter of seconds. A nice warm beach, the moon, a quaint cafe or for me…sitting on the sea front in Reykjavik, Iceland. Now im going to let you into a little secret. To the people around you it will appear that you are being ignorant, but that just an illusion and no ever has to know the truth.

The second ability, and some of you wont be able to believe this, but it can give you the ability to succeed in your chosen career path…just so long as its one of the following careers. Professional DJ, dancer, singer, or any type of musician (for example master of air guitar). However one song I wouldn’t recommend testing the professional singing career out with would be  ‘We all stand together’ by Paul McCartney. As for me personally the frog sections just didn’t work out…especially in public.

And on that note I shall leave you to ponder over what you can do with the power of your Ipod, as the possibilities are endless.

“Take one story, viewed from two different angles. It is the same day, the same moment, but one angle ends happily… and the other ends badly.” – Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven.