Honestly…right now I feel lost.
Lost with myself, lost with where I’m going in life, lost in general. And in my personal experience when people feel lost, they begin to search for someone who can make them feel safe, feel found in a sense. Even a sense of security. Now in truth in the past I’ve known people do this, and I’ve often thought about doing this myself due to how magical love appears to be. But I think a different approach would be more suited to me right now, and this is also something many people suggest. Find yourself. Be happy with yourself.
With this I don’t necessarily mean be alone until I feel found (if that’s even a thing), because friends and family are always important. I mainly just mean I am not going to jump into a relationship, because in a relationship you have to think of both people and right now I need to be a little bit selfish. Plus saying that if you can’t be selfish right now then when can you? Because as the years go by there becomes a pressure to get into a relationship and make plans with that person. Starting from where to go on holiday together, to getting married and having kids. And that all means being completely considerate and that’s just not for me right now.
My main focuses are really to just find out more things about myself, stuff that I’ve never discovered. New passions, new skills, even new desires. Maybe I will also lose some bad habits I’ve acquired through other people, which wouldn’t be a bad thing. Alongside all of this though I will still be living in the real world and will aim to get another job so I can get money together to go travelling to all the places I’ve dreamed of. So now is the time. Time to leap and see what happens. Wish me luck.
“No matter what you’re trying, even if you fail in the beginning and people say you’re no good, don’t listen to them; Just listen to your own heart.” – Mitch Albom